Excuse me, I think you have something on your face

Before I begin this week I must take a moment to thank all of you that took time to wish me and my family condolences on the passing of my grandmother. Those thoughts and words have done more than any of you can know to validate to the family how much Memaw meant. As a society we are generally good people. We try to do what’s best, try not to hurt people, and in the end try to get by without causing too many ripples. That being said, there are times when our feet end up in our mouths either because we cannot keep our mouth shut or because we just cannot help trying to fix things. Why is it so hard for us to just mind our own business? We all have our own issues that need to be handled. We all have our own skeletons that we bury in the closet. Oh, screw that, we bury them in the basement then flood it. So I go back to why do we want to fix everybody else instead of just letting people be who they are? Why not let them just figure themselves out on their own? I am writing this so I guess it’s my opinion. I think we feel the need to try and make things around us more like the way we want them. We also find it easier. It is very hard to change ourselves. At least that’s what we have been told our entire lives and when we talk about something enough it usually comes true. Actually, I do believe it is hard to change. We are so comfortable and the least bit of change requires a different action than we are used to doing. This changes our schedule, which then throws us a curve from what we are accustomed. Why would I want to put myself through the pain of changing something with myself when I can just pick something on someone else to fix? When we fix others we deflect our own wrongs onto others and somehow that makes us feel better. We justify our actions because we say we are being helpful, being attentive to others, or it makes us feel superior to those around us. Whatever the reason it usually is wrong. I bring this up because first I am truly guilty of this behavior and secondly I have recently had it happen to me. It has been quite funny but nonetheless people just cannot help wanting to help. Over the past couple of weeks I have developed a skin tag on my upper lip. I am trying to rid myself of it but it seems to like my face. People just want to help and I really find it amusing. The other day I had someone on the campus stop and talk to me. During our conversation they stopped abruptly and asked if I could wipe off my lip because it was distracting them. I’ve also had people continually lick their lips while staring intently at my lip. I think it is a clue but I just get tickled. The best one was the little old lady at the memorial service. I was sitting down enjoying some good company and tasty vittles. The lady walked up to introduce herself and began conversing nicely about the service. As we were gathered in conversation I notice she had a napkin in her right hand. Wait for it….In a shocking twist the lady stopped mid-sentence, licked the napkin, and proceeded to wipe my upper lip with it. I tried to halt her progress but to no avail. She attempted to wipe it off again and after collecting my faculties I was able to inform her that it was not food but skin. What I loved the most is that she was not even embarrassed. She was simply trying to fix me, yes with her own saliva, because I did not fit something in her world. We continued our conversation, me a little stunned by the last 30 seconds, and then we were done. This example is funny but it just allows me to believe how badly we want to help others. Okay, I mean we really just don’t want to mess with ourselves. There are times when we should reach out to people and most of the time if we actually listen they will let us know. I was not offended and you shouldn’t be either. We don’t mean harm we just want what is easy. Looking out is much easier than looking within. The service on Thursday was a great experience for the Heath family. We honored the lady that has allowed us to be who we are today. Honor those that have helped you before they are just a picture on the wall.

Not just your average week; honoring the matriarch

It is a beautiful Sunday evening in Babson Park. I am enjoying a relaxing evening of jamming to a replay of the Electric Zoo show from New York. Yes, it is all electric music and man it thumps. The base pulsating through my house reminds me of my time I roomed with my buddy, Blake, and I would wake him up on Saturday morning with the base coming from his awesome system. Oh well, I digressed early in this little blog. Nonetheless it is nice to just listen to music and prepare for the week ahead. This week will be a microcosm of what it means to experience life. I just happen to be doing it this week. First, I get to have the experience of being a professional lecturer. Monday I will speak to a class at FSC about sport, character in sport, if everyone should be allowed to play sports, and whether sport teaches values and ethics. This should a lot of fun because I really enjoy all of these topics. If you know me we have had discussions on these multiple times. After being the speaker, later in the day the team and I will be spoken to by a nutritionist. This will be pretty cool because she wants to help the guys become more aware of what they are putting in their bodies and when to do it. It is nice when people are willing to go above and beyond to help others reach goals. Following those two academic pursuits I’ll actually go do my real gig and work with my team. Labor Day really is that for me. It’s actually fun so you will hear no complaints from me. Michelle and Brianna get to enjoy a much deserved day off and will spend some time on the trail with their horses. Tuesday and Wednesday are the most normal days of the week for me. Teaching class, working with the team and doing barn stuff in the evening are the norm these days so that will be good. Thursday will be, by far, the oddest, hardest, and most rewarding day I will have had in awhile. It will start early with some academic pursuits. First thing in the morning my wellness class will delve into a riveting discussion about nutrition, tongue firmly in cheek, then they will work on their fitness with an exhilarating workout. A couple hours after that, I will hand out the first test to my Effective Coaching class and leave. I will be leaving to the latter of the three above descriptions. As a family and surrounded by friends we will celebrate the life of Memaw, the matriarch of the Heath family. We have chosen to celebrate her life instead of mourning her loss because she would be pissed if we did it any other way. For those that knew her she was the boss and we did it her way. I am sure there will be sadness but hopefully most of the tears will be for remembering the good times. I am honored to be one of her grandchildren and will make sure that her work will be continued within the family. Friday will be back to normal with tennis and barn. This upcoming weekend was supposed to be the kick-off of the FTR harescramble series but the first race has been cancelled. Oh well, I guess I will unveil my new number two weeks later. With a free weekend that wasn’t planned I guess I will actually get my yard mowed. I was not supposed to be in Babson Park during a weekend for over a month and half but plans change and I know how to fill empty space. The base is still thumping really hard with some amazing house beats, Michelle is putting together some new storage contraption, and Brianna went to spend the night with Ken and Ruthie, and my mind is swirling with all the words that I must put out in public over the next four days. The contemplation of what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and if to say it always weighs heavy on me and this week more so than others. I look forward to the challenges and opportunities this week brings and I know, because my Memaw told me in a letter over 13 years ago, my family will always support and love me through the toughest of times. As I go out tonight I leave you with this: Tell them you love them, hug them, answer when they call, and call when they don’t. Reach out to someone you care about, it may be exactly what you need.

Back at school

For most of us the school year has begun. The relative calm that was summer has evaporated, unlike the moisture still thick in air, into the hustle and bustle of learning and trying to fit everything you want to do into a shorter period of time. Brianna started her new school and was really funny. She carried a map the first couple of days and then proudly told Michelle and me that she knew her schedule. She also made sure to tell us that even though she wasn’t tickled with her schedule that she is thoroughly enjoying her robotics class and she will not be changing it. Michelle is like a giddy little school girl these days. She has drug herself out of bed for 12 years and busted her butt as an elementary school teacher but decided it was time for a change. Starting this August she did not return to her teaching role but instead she began her new career as a real estate agent. She had quietly been doing her training and once it was complete she started helping at the office. The best part is she doesn’t have to get up at the crack of dark to head off to another day of trying to change behaviors that are engrained stronger than concrete. She is so excited that for the first time in six years she can be an active part of Brianna’s school life. She actually took Brianna to her first day of school for the first time since she was in pre-school. That moment was great for both parties. Me, I’m doing new things as well. I am teaching a new class called the Principles of Effective Coaching. This class was taught by our legendary softball coach until this year. My thoughts are she is very effective and there are others who are far more effective than me but oh well, let’s get to it. Brianna just turned eleven and that’s really starting to make me feel a little older. Her birthday was interrupted by FSC move-in-day so we decided to have a birthday week which concluded today with a competitive game of bowling and dinner. She isn’t perfect but I wouldn’t trade her for anything. I don’t have much more but give me time. We start preseason training this week, I race in two weeks, and Brianna gets back on the horse in just a few weeks. Those events always bring me to much thought so I will let the brain diarrhea flow once the mood hits. One last thing, one of Brianna’s events was a murder mystery theater held at the Ritz in Winter Haven last night. They are a blast and get quite comical. If you are ever looking for a fun way to spend some quality time with your family think about attending one of these detective events. That’s it. Have a great week and try to be 1% better than you were yesterday.

I took a little break

Well, I said I was going to take a little break from writing due to some changes so I did. I didn’t realize that it would be almost one year before I put my thoughts back down on paper. Last July Michelle and I became partners in a stable that we named H&W Stables. It has been one year and the stable is full, one of the pastures is irrigated, and Brianna has a home to ride every day her heart desires. I am not going to lie and say that it is easy. Actually it is exhausting. Many 12 hour days and a lot of poop; I mean lots of poop. None of us knew that it would have such an effect on our daily lives. We strive continually to make sure we are improving the facility and with that come the frustration that things just don’t happen quickly. H&W is doing great and after a year we have learned how to make the daily grind a little more bearable. With the responsibility of the barn came the letting go of other things. Home cooked meals went the way of which restaurant we could go to, fitness was put out to pasture and workouts were what I did daily at the barn, and life just kind of stopped. One year later things changed again and more adjustments are being made. My wife decided that after 12 years of teaching it was time to face some new challenges. She has decided to go into real estate with her parents. She spent last winter getting her license and in June joined Century 21 At Your Service Realty and Full Service Property Management. She was to be a co-agent in the property management division but things are never static. Her partner decided to go a different career path so now Michelle is managing the entire property management department. These changes have been exciting, frustrating, revealing, and necessary. School has begun and Brianna has started at a new school for the first time in 5 years. Michelle is now entrenched in her new career and I am beginning my 7th year at FSC. I have decided that I too will make some changes this year just so that I can be included in all the fun. Mine revolve around tennis and sport, so Mom don’t fret, but nothing is concrete at this time. Oh yeah, Brianna qualified for the 4H State Horse Show this year, Michelle and I completed a Tough Mudder in December, and I finished 9th in my FTR series. Somehow we managed to get those things accomplished. I guess when something is really important you find the time to get it done. That’s all for now but I am going to make a concerted effort to improve my performance on these blogs.