Excuse me, I think you have something on your face

Before I begin this week I must take a moment to thank all of you that took time to wish me and my family condolences on the passing of my grandmother. Those thoughts and words have done more than any of you can know to validate to the family how much Memaw meant. As a society we are generally good people. We try to do what’s best, try not to hurt people, and in the end try to get by without causing too many ripples. That being said, there are times when our feet end up in our mouths either because we cannot keep our mouth shut or because we just cannot help trying to fix things. Why is it so hard for us to just mind our own business? We all have our own issues that need to be handled. We all have our own skeletons that we bury in the closet. Oh, screw that, we bury them in the basement then flood it. So I go back to why do we want to fix everybody else instead of just letting people be who they are? Why not let them just figure themselves out on their own? I am writing this so I guess it’s my opinion. I think we feel the need to try and make things around us more like the way we want them. We also find it easier. It is very hard to change ourselves. At least that’s what we have been told our entire lives and when we talk about something enough it usually comes true. Actually, I do believe it is hard to change. We are so comfortable and the least bit of change requires a different action than we are used to doing. This changes our schedule, which then throws us a curve from what we are accustomed. Why would I want to put myself through the pain of changing something with myself when I can just pick something on someone else to fix? When we fix others we deflect our own wrongs onto others and somehow that makes us feel better. We justify our actions because we say we are being helpful, being attentive to others, or it makes us feel superior to those around us. Whatever the reason it usually is wrong. I bring this up because first I am truly guilty of this behavior and secondly I have recently had it happen to me. It has been quite funny but nonetheless people just cannot help wanting to help. Over the past couple of weeks I have developed a skin tag on my upper lip. I am trying to rid myself of it but it seems to like my face. People just want to help and I really find it amusing. The other day I had someone on the campus stop and talk to me. During our conversation they stopped abruptly and asked if I could wipe off my lip because it was distracting them. I’ve also had people continually lick their lips while staring intently at my lip. I think it is a clue but I just get tickled. The best one was the little old lady at the memorial service. I was sitting down enjoying some good company and tasty vittles. The lady walked up to introduce herself and began conversing nicely about the service. As we were gathered in conversation I notice she had a napkin in her right hand. Wait for it….In a shocking twist the lady stopped mid-sentence, licked the napkin, and proceeded to wipe my upper lip with it. I tried to halt her progress but to no avail. She attempted to wipe it off again and after collecting my faculties I was able to inform her that it was not food but skin. What I loved the most is that she was not even embarrassed. She was simply trying to fix me, yes with her own saliva, because I did not fit something in her world. We continued our conversation, me a little stunned by the last 30 seconds, and then we were done. This example is funny but it just allows me to believe how badly we want to help others. Okay, I mean we really just don’t want to mess with ourselves. There are times when we should reach out to people and most of the time if we actually listen they will let us know. I was not offended and you shouldn’t be either. We don’t mean harm we just want what is easy. Looking out is much easier than looking within. The service on Thursday was a great experience for the Heath family. We honored the lady that has allowed us to be who we are today. Honor those that have helped you before they are just a picture on the wall.

Not just your average week; honoring the matriarch

It is a beautiful Sunday evening in Babson Park. I am enjoying a relaxing evening of jamming to a replay of the Electric Zoo show from New York. Yes, it is all electric music and man it thumps. The base pulsating through my house reminds me of my time I roomed with my buddy, Blake, and I would wake him up on Saturday morning with the base coming from his awesome system. Oh well, I digressed early in this little blog. Nonetheless it is nice to just listen to music and prepare for the week ahead. This week will be a microcosm of what it means to experience life. I just happen to be doing it this week. First, I get to have the experience of being a professional lecturer. Monday I will speak to a class at FSC about sport, character in sport, if everyone should be allowed to play sports, and whether sport teaches values and ethics. This should a lot of fun because I really enjoy all of these topics. If you know me we have had discussions on these multiple times. After being the speaker, later in the day the team and I will be spoken to by a nutritionist. This will be pretty cool because she wants to help the guys become more aware of what they are putting in their bodies and when to do it. It is nice when people are willing to go above and beyond to help others reach goals. Following those two academic pursuits I’ll actually go do my real gig and work with my team. Labor Day really is that for me. It’s actually fun so you will hear no complaints from me. Michelle and Brianna get to enjoy a much deserved day off and will spend some time on the trail with their horses. Tuesday and Wednesday are the most normal days of the week for me. Teaching class, working with the team and doing barn stuff in the evening are the norm these days so that will be good. Thursday will be, by far, the oddest, hardest, and most rewarding day I will have had in awhile. It will start early with some academic pursuits. First thing in the morning my wellness class will delve into a riveting discussion about nutrition, tongue firmly in cheek, then they will work on their fitness with an exhilarating workout. A couple hours after that, I will hand out the first test to my Effective Coaching class and leave. I will be leaving to the latter of the three above descriptions. As a family and surrounded by friends we will celebrate the life of Memaw, the matriarch of the Heath family. We have chosen to celebrate her life instead of mourning her loss because she would be pissed if we did it any other way. For those that knew her she was the boss and we did it her way. I am sure there will be sadness but hopefully most of the tears will be for remembering the good times. I am honored to be one of her grandchildren and will make sure that her work will be continued within the family. Friday will be back to normal with tennis and barn. This upcoming weekend was supposed to be the kick-off of the FTR harescramble series but the first race has been cancelled. Oh well, I guess I will unveil my new number two weeks later. With a free weekend that wasn’t planned I guess I will actually get my yard mowed. I was not supposed to be in Babson Park during a weekend for over a month and half but plans change and I know how to fill empty space. The base is still thumping really hard with some amazing house beats, Michelle is putting together some new storage contraption, and Brianna went to spend the night with Ken and Ruthie, and my mind is swirling with all the words that I must put out in public over the next four days. The contemplation of what to say, how to say it, when to say it, and if to say it always weighs heavy on me and this week more so than others. I look forward to the challenges and opportunities this week brings and I know, because my Memaw told me in a letter over 13 years ago, my family will always support and love me through the toughest of times. As I go out tonight I leave you with this: Tell them you love them, hug them, answer when they call, and call when they don’t. Reach out to someone you care about, it may be exactly what you need.